Mr Groom

A British guy who not only likes men, but also teaches computer science at a selective high school. He plays an absurd amount of Minecraft and overwatch, rivalling the means of another god gamer (only pros would get the reference). He has many colourful metaphors that he uses to convey his messages, like how he escaped the matrix and that the school system is controlling us (he is very based). Apart from liking men, he also likes kids, thus his name.

Guy one: "Bro, that kid got kidnapped today"
Guy two: "Oh it was probably Mr Groom, don't worry law enforcement will bait him by telling him about the new overwatch league"
Guy one: "You sure?"
Guy two: "Of course, no gamer at his calibre would ever miss out on that tournament."
Guy one: "Oh, ok"