Liverpudlian

A Liverpudlian is the politically correct, but perhaps more ironic term for supporters of Liverpool Football Club as most of their fan base hail from London, Wales, Norway and Indonesia.

The wealthiest, supporters who attend Liverpool fixtures can be seen (not heard) on a match day, typically humming or miming You’ll Never Walk Alone to the deafening PA system at kick off, clutching an iPad, before remaining in almost melancholic silence for the rest of the game.

Liverpudlians are the masters of deflecting blame. They recently went five years deep into Mason Holgate’s Twitter profile because he (mistakingly) thought he was racially abused, digging up homophobic tweets published whilst the player was taking his GCSEs. Mere weeks later, Liverpool youngster Rhian Brewster made an allegation in the exact same nature, with the same lack of evidence. Holgate slandered by the Liverpool fans, Brewster defended. This occurred in a time frame where Patrice Evra returned to Anfield, so the Liverpool fans chanted the name of Luis Suarez at him, the player who’d racially abused Evra.

Additionally, Liverpool fans deny being responsible for murdering 39 Italians at Heysel in 1985, and getting all English teams banned from Europe for 5 years. They also celebrate the year Steaua Bucharest won the 1986 European Cup, because that was the year Everton had a chance to win it.

All in all, Liverpudlians are a vile breed of lying, racist, cheating murderers who never take the blame for anything.

Abdulkar, 31, on Twitter: “I’m not English, I’m a Liverpudlian”
Çelik, from his armchair: “YNWA!”

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