safety police

Police men or women who didnt meet the requirements to be a real cop. Also, people, who want to look like a cop, without the responsibility. A.K.A. "special police". Some of the negatives of being a safety policeperson are: No gun, maybe hairspray, No handcuffs, just plastic zip ties, and the worst of all: You get to drive in a 15 year old out of commission police car. If youre lucky, it will be a crown victoria, sometimes its a Taurus, and even worse, a minivan. Usually identified by a big yellow reflective stripe that is falling off of their old squad car. When you see the saftey police, it is customary in these parts to honk twice to let them know how insignifcant they are.

"Hey buddy, maybe you shouldnt park going across 3 handicapped parking spots. I see a cop car right there, you might get a ticket."
"Its just the safety police. Go ask him for change for the meter."

16👍 14👎

spot check

When an individual feels that their butthole might be dirty, and could possibly leave skidmarks on your underwear. They will excuse themselves to the bathroom, gather some toilet paper, drop trow, and swipe. Carefully examine the paper for evidence. If necessary, proceed to cleaning the affected area.

"Hey man, I think I have a major case of shit-ass. I'll be right back."
(5 minutes later)
"How did it go?"
"The spot check passed inspection."

9👍 26👎