Salt Farmer

One who specializes in the humble art of trolling the likes of SJWs and Internet tough guys, in order to collect and concentrate the tears formed. Whether they’re CNN Tears, Liberal Tears, or Feminist Tears, the bountiful salt concentration makes for an enjoyable career that pays little, but is internally rewarding nonetheless.

Person 1: “Today I disagreed with someone’s opinion online with a :) after my comment.”

Person A: “Were you looking for a fight?”

Person 1: “Nah, I’m just a humble Salt Farmer.”

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chili ring

The result of eating food so spicy, your anus burns like fire after taking a dump.

Residual capsaicin in fecal matter, causing the mucus membranes in the anal sphincter to burn painfully.

You: "Shit man, I shouldn't have eaten all those jalapeños last night..."

Douche friend: "What's wrong, got chili ring?"

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Buttjaculate

A situation that occurs involuntarily after getting assrammed full of baby gravy, and subsequently squeezed/hugged so tightly, you effectively ejaculate from your anus.

Zaq: Ack, what is this stuff all over the place?
Ara: Sorry, got gay earlier and Kaz ran up and gave me a hug before I had time to clean out. Made me buttjaculate on the floor.