An atypical blotter of really good LSD (taken in sublingual fashion); pristine and delicate yet iridescently powerful is it's gravity to take on the machinations of the mind and surroundings ad infinitum and channel it into a force to be reckoned with by which opening up a portal to the forbidden garden to those that would partake in it's fruits of sunshine, wisdom, eternity and also lastly it being a most comforting sanctuary of insanity safe from the world for those that would like to take a vacation from eternal struggle and thus temporarily and essentially rid the user in life that takes such a key of the "brand of sacrifice" much like the protagonist character Guts in the anime and or manga series' Berserk, etc. whom bears it. There's usually a forecast for an electric blizzard of bubbles no less upon taking a portal key in the right setting; as per usual with such with a setting dependent key to other worlds much like the comforting magical insanity of the video game series Kingdom Hearts with the keyblade and hearts and whatever Kingdom hearts actually is. WTF is Kingdom Hearts anyway?! Anyways; portal keys.
Side effects: seeing colors and or visual disturbances that are dose and or setting dependent, experiencing real sunshine inside oneself, obtaining forbidden wisdom, experiencing eternity and or an absence of time present as a concept, feeling a logical and or an unknown feeling yet comforting insanity dependent on the experience of the portal key wielder, etc.
James: Hey Randy! We hold the power of Gods! Randy: I know man; these portal keys opened a portal to Nosgoth for us lil' vampires once more. Muahaha.