Random
Source Code

Con Bus

A satiric description (based off the movie Con Air) of a public transit bus that seems to be composed solely of convicted felons, drunks, druggies and possibly killers.

"Dude, I caught the Con Bus home after the gym the other day. Half the people were drunk and the other half seemed to be going to a methadone clinic and were talking about beating people up." said Jimmy Ray. "I was scared for my life but you can't show weakness on the Con Bus or you could get rolled"

by Archyis March 21, 2009

5πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Gym Hands

This is a biohazard like state which exists on your hands from going to the gym and handling various equipment with your hands.

This condition derives from hundreds of men using the gym equipment who hardly wipe their own asses let alone wash their hands.

The only way to rectify this potentially dangerous condition is to thoroughly wash your hands with anti-bacterial soap directly after your workout.

1. "Whew that was some workout, let's get outta here" says Jeff. "Wait a minute, I got gym hands...let me go wash them real quick" wisely responds James.

2. "Poor Jesse...what caused him to go into a coma" asks Jeff. "He forgot to wash his "gym hands" after working out and then he ate a sandwich. The poor fellow caught SARS, Shingles, Gout and the Black Plague...honestly it was too much for the human body so it shut down" replied James.

by Archyis March 10, 2009

11πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


kneedle

A hypodermic needle specifically designed to inject into the knee joint for such things as Hyalgan or Cortizone.

Dr. - Ok, I am going to have to give you an injection in your bum knee.

Patient - Holy shnikes Doc...that is not a needle, it is a KNEEDLE! You get it? Kneedle?

Dr. - Yes, I get it....not funny. Don't pursue a stand up comedy career.

by Archyis January 8, 2010

2πŸ‘ 6πŸ‘Ž


Flumonia

The synergistic "Super-bug" that is spawned when an individual becomes infected with the influenza and pnemonia at the same time. This is more sinister than the dreaded bird and/or swine flu...and is more on-par with the fabled SuperFlu from the movie "The Stand".

Monday
Patient - Yo, I don't feel so good doc.
Doctor - Well I declare...you must have a case of the flu.

Thursday
Patient - Yo, I feel worse now doc.
Doctor - For Pete's sake, it appears you now have pnemonia.
Patient - Does that mean I have Flumonia?

by Archyis October 8, 2009

7πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Cubicle Justice

A Charles Bronson like office vigilante that seeks to get even with a colleague in the office for slighting them.

Worker 1 - I can't believe he knocked stuff over at my cube, then got pissed about it and slammed stuff down. And then he just walks off without putting the stuff back.

Worker 2 - Dude, that is a jackass move. What are you going to do?

Worker 1 - Well, there will be a fair amount of cubicle justice, I can tell you that. I may take all of the screws out of his chair, tape raw fish up under his desk or perhaps stink palm his mouse.

Worker 2 - Hells Yaw, that would be hilarious yo!

by Archyis November 6, 2009


Office Vigilante

Cubicle dweller or office employee who seeks justice and revenge against the evil forces residing within the work environment.

Inspired by watching Charles Bronson in DeathWish, I intend to be an Office Vigilante so I can right all of the wrongs that occur within our office. I got my sock full of quarters and am ready to unleash on some fools!

by Archyis November 9, 2009

4πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Under-Werewolf

A person with excess body hair wearing only underwear usually resembling Michael J Fox from Teen Wolf. It is assumed that the Under-werewolf possesses special powers so they are generally feared.

"Dude, did you see the Under-werewolf in the locker room at the gym?" asked Bob.

"Yeah, I was scared for my life...I got out of there quick because I didn't feel like getting my face ripped off today." replied a trembling Steve.

by Archyis July 31, 2009