CHIMPS

"CHIMPS" are Police Community Support Officers or PCSOs. Due to the fact that they "Can't Help In Most Police Situations". Everyone knows that PCSOs can't really do much because they aren't actually Police Officers at all.

Person 1: Look over there at that huge group of CHIMPS by the shop being unhelpful.
Person 2: What on earth are CHIMPS?
Person 1: They are PCSOs, you know, because they Can't Help In Most Police Situations.
Person 2: You're right, they can't.