Douchebag

An aging trumpet player who resides in a college town.
He rides a scooter and claims to be proficient skydiver, when in fact he is merely afraid of planes and is a professional at fleeing extreme circumstances.

A wannabe hipster who pokes fun at everyone he encounters, spewing pretentious fluff about his supremacy over the rest of Earth's population.

Also owns a cat.

Unsuspecting Victim - "Hey guys I just got my first skydiving license, woohoo!"

Douchebag - "You're a laughable buffoon. I've had my license since before Charles Darwin took a sample of King Arthur's hair and claimed he was a direct descendant of Cleopatra. My cat is more deserving of a license than you, you hopeless amateur."

1👍 13👎