bilateral samsonite

Known to EMTs and paramedics, the individual who needlessly calls 911 for an imagined emergency and is waiting on the curb with two packed suitcases when the ambulance arrives, assuming that he or she will be staying in the hospital for some time (where hopefully personal attention, sympathy, food, and pain medications will be administered).

We thought we were responding to a heart attack, but we actually had a bilateral samsonite.

Her bogus respiratory distress complaint was actually a bilateral samsonite.

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