Poly Fuckboy

A guy who claims to be poly and uses the psychological complexities of alternative lifestyles to justify his fuckboy behavior (both to himself and to others). Claims that sex is how he connects with people before he's able to connect emotionally, because it's just "how he is," when really he's not interested in people beyond sex. Will adopt the terminology and concepts of alternative lifestyles in order to present himself as open-minded, but if his behavior is called into question, he will manipulate his date/partner into feeling guilty for questioning him, claiming that she needs to take responsibility for her feelings (or other dismissive invalidations). Other symptoms: attempts to control the methods and/or frequency of contact (including warnings early in the relationship that he is very busy); has a high number of partners yet claims to have close emotional connections with all of them (despite his occasionally forgetting about you); makes frequent assumptions, false accusations, and judgements about a woman's behavior (often as a distraction from his own); consistently gives himself an 'out' for hangouts (yet somehow the conflict magically disappears if he thinks he may get laid); expresses interest in / extreme comfort with a platonic relationship but then fails to demonstrate interest beyond sex/poly-related topics; gaslighting; mansplaining; arrogance; may also include signs and symptoms of a narcissist or sociopath.

Allison: Me and Kevin are in an open relationship, so I'm looking for friends with benefits. Should I go out with James?

Brenda: I'd say yes if you just wanted to get laid and talk about nothing but sex, but he's a classic poly fuckboy, so not really friend material.