Aspen Fat Unit

When guys tripping in Aspen, your friend/vacation roommate decided the path of least resistance to ass is to bed the Vietnamese potbellied pig whose circumference exceeds her height. You wake up to her ass in your face as she searches for her shoes winded. You label her/them/it one (1.0) Aspen Fat Unit (AFU). This forever becomes the standard of measure for all going forward actual or possible fat hookups.

Hey Derek, she’s about 0.76 Aspen Fat Units. You go get her while I call the hotel for mattress reinforcements. Don’t you dare try and tag me in, and remember the safe word: orcalovin