benchmarks

1. A reference mark that something is measured against. The original benchmarks are places on the workbench used to measure common lengths of material, such as lumber.

2. In surveying, a "bench mark" (two words) is a post or other permanent mark established at a known elevation that is used as the basis for measuring the elevation of other topographical points.

In computer and Internet technology, the term may have any of these meanings:

1) A set of conditions against which a product or system is measured. PC magazine laboratories frequently test and compare several new computers or computer devices against the same set of application programs, user interactions, and contextual situations. The total context against which all products are measured and compared is referred to as the benchmark.

2) A program that is specially designed to provide measurements for a particular operating system or application.

3) A known product with which users are familiar or accustomed to that other newer products can be compared to.

4) A set of performance criteria which a product is expected to meet.

Laboratory benchmarks sometimes fail to reflect real-world product use. For this reason, Eric Raymond defines a benchmark as "an inaccurate measure of computer performance" and cites the "old hacker's saying" that "In the computer industry, there are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and benchmarks."

Still, benchmarks can be useful and some companies offer benchmark programs for downloading or a benchmark testing service on their own site.

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between the sheets

In bed.

This phrase is also part of a game where you take any common sentence or title and add "between the sheets." A popular juvenile activity.

The possibilities are endless.

"Romeo and Juliet... between the sheets!"

"The Passion of Christ... between the sheets!"

"The Return of the King... between the sheets!"

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flying

An extremely cool activity, possible with an airplane, preferably a Cessna and a pilot.

It is very fun to see the world from up high when I go flying.

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Slarf

Very bad food. Food that is badly prepared or of poor quality, slop. Commonly found in school cafeterias or on leftover night.

"Do I really have to eat this slarf?"

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squeeb

1. Also, a person who sucks farts out of dead skunks.

My friend Kevin commonly associates with squeebs.

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airport

Airports are places where various aircraft take off and land from. There are big, busy airports, like O'Hare International, and there are small, quiet airports like where I am writing from, Olympia Regional.

Many airports have flight schools where you can learn to fly an airplane or a helicopter. Smaller airports have plenty of airport bums and ramp rats, which is a good thing since flying is fun to watch.

Sometimes airports will have museums, restaurants, and other fun activities.

I am happy because I found a job at the airport, renting out planes and answering phones.

or

Let's go to the airport and get a plane ride!

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I could buy you and sell you

Essentially, "I am much richer than you." A stronger form of "I could buy you." Usually a derisive phrase.

"I could buy you and sell you," said Bill Gates to his impoverished employee.

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