Pokemon

It began in Japan. Some guy, known as Okirocho Danana wanted to come up with it. So he did. Pokemon Blue hit the shelves in January '94. It began simply enough- catch all 151 pokemon, train a team and get "Blue" laid. A standard team at L100 was usually along the lines of Caterpie/Mewtwo/Chansey/Shoe/Machoke and of course one of the starters- Zekrom or Ice Beam. Completing the game was simple, though many criticized Nintendo selling the GameShark separately as a cunning marketing ploy. Once one had Gamesharked all 152 pokemon, the chairman of pokemon would send 55 virgins to your home.

The next generation of pokemon came in the form of Pokemon Gold, and now 251 to catch. GameSharking became an arduous process. It was commonplace to find Gamesharkless players selling crack/doing homework for a trade.

Then came Pokemon Violet. To catch the rarer pokemon like furret and castform, one had to attend Nintendo rallies and pledge allegiance to Skeletor.

Finally Pokemon Black/White came, with the new feature of DreamWorld. Although a dangerous tactic, Nintendo had decided to link their DS system with SEGA DreamCast, because it was such a good machine that it deserved to be given another go. Players were able to transfer one of two characters- Shenmue or Sonic- to their DS cartridge in place of their pokemon, as Shenmue is a dangerous mofo, and Sonic is nihilistic and racist against the Dark type, therefore the game was won upon transfer.

Pokemon Blue- A wild Caterpie appeared! Blue sent out Hitmonlee. Wild Caterpie used Flare Blitz! Its not very effective..... Blue's team was turned to dust....Blue blacked out like a pussy!

Pokemon Gold- Hi, would you like to go to rock tunnel? FUCK YOU, beat the elite four first!

Pokemon Pink- Vaporeon used Water Gun! Chansey's "soak all fucking attacks" made the move flaccid and useless.

Pokemon Black- Shenmue used generic martial arts stance. The foe's Dragonite shit itself!

86👍 31👎

a dinosaur

One thing you can't buy.

Barry Geller: Well, he may be rather affluent, but there's one thing, to be bought, cannot he do such that thing be done.

Josh Gibson the third: Oh yeah? What's that.

Barry Geller: A dinosaur.

Winston Manillow: Ah, very good sir.

23👍 3👎