Shart

When you fart and shit at the same time and you have to wash your pants 7 time to get the stain out.

Jimmy: Mum, I just shart.
Mum: Jesus fucking christ Jimmy that’s the third time this week. And it’s only Tuesday!

Later that day...

eBay attendant: Hi welcome to eBay
Mum: Yes, I want to sell my son.

Poop

How Americans say poo

Jimmy: Yo bro, I’m going for a poop.

Jack: Jimmy you idiot! IT’S POO NOT POOP THIS IS NOT AMERICA THIS IS AUSTRALIA! Jeez, you’re doing my frickin head in. Next it’s going to be ‘pepper’ and ‘sidewalk’.

Jimmy: Fine! I’ll just go poo and then eat capsicum on the footpath. Happy?

Jack: *slaps Jimmy on the face* NOPE