lazy susan

(v): The act of farting in a revolving door, thereby leaving a present for the next entrant.

"Jesus, that asshole that just went in lazy susanned this revolving door!"

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taint tweezin'

(v) The action of removing hairs from your taint...usually by using a pair of tweezers.

It helps to drink heavily before taint tweezin'.

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vag scab

(n): coagulated blood product extruded from the vagina, possibly a result of childbirth or an out of control sexually transmitted disease

Damn, my girlfriend must have gotten an STD last week when she shot that porn flick, because my cock was covered with vag scabs after we screwed around last night!

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turkey tossing

Fellating a turkey's asshole, usually right before killing it for Thanksgiving dinner.

Holy crap, who left Billy Ray alone with that bird? He's going to grab the lube and a butcher knife and fire up one hell of a turkey tossing!! God bless Thanksgiving!

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german baby leg

(n) a five plus pound penis that, when erect, resembles a chunky baby's leg complete with rolls. Often achieved with the help of implants and injections.

Elmer: "hey shit cletus, what you got in your pocket? "
Cletus: "bend over and I'll show you. "
Elmer: "damn, how did you do that? wait, what you doing. ..get that German baby leg away from me! "

Maskurbate

(V): socially responsible act of wearing a mask while masturbating in public to protect those nearby, especially when you breathe heavily while nearing orgasm

Frank is so considerate, I saw him maskurbate outside the library last night…that book club that let out and walked by him definitely won’t get Covid!

berta

The process of getting stung near your anal opening, which then causes severe swelling. Blocks your feces during a bowel movement. Sometimes requires surgery.

This berta is going to kill me!

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