Nano-boner

A small twitch of the penis caused by sexual thoughts or stimuli.

"Okay, sir, could you pull down your pants so I could have a look at the problem. Just relax, sir, nothing to be embarassed about."
"Certainly."
"Ah okay, it seems to be a standard skin condition on the top of the penis, nothing to worry about. My 20-year-old daughter had the same thing on her breasts. She..."
"..."
"Oh dear, I'm sorry about that twitch it just did."
"In the profession we call that a nano-boner!"

Procrascination

The act of running away from revision or an important deadline by becoming passionately interested in something which would normally be boring. Usually induced by a combination of stress and the internet.

"I shouldn't have gone on Wikipedia - I got a procrascination for the moons of Jupiter and now I've got to write fifteen thousand words on the Spanish civil war by tomorrow."

"I failed my degree because I developed a procrascination for finding the optimal way to use the golden mushroom in Mario Kart 64."

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