adam carolla

one of the funniest men ever. on the man show, was on loveline on kroq, had a show on comedy central that was pretty funny, had a house building show on TLC that was awesome, was on dancing with the stars and should have won with that awesome unicycle ride, now had a alright morhing show on 97.1fm in orange county.
look him up on youtube and see how hes frickin funny

adam carolla: 'this is my crew, or as i like to call them, my band of unemployable idiots'

caller: 'i masterbate around 8 times a day, then my penis starts to hurt really bad. what should i do?'
adam: 'id like to see you up around 8... but this is like someone sayin 'i stab myself in the wrist with a pen and it hurts, what should i do?you stop wackin off so much, you idiot'

'why didnt my mom lay me on my back when i was a kid?? now i can only sleep on my side, so when im in a airplane, im trying to get comfortable twisting around so i can get some sleep...'

641👍 162👎

cod flabbit

simply a replacement for goddamit. If one has already said 'god', one can save him or herself by saying 'flabbit' instead of 'dammit'.

BEN: "ahh goddamit! whered that come from."

MOM: "what was that?"

BEN: "uhh i said cod flabbit, cuz i just got sniped in the face on halo"

MOM: "no, thats not what you said. *turns off xbox*

BEN: "shiiiiit"

10👍 4👎