two is one and one is none

A Navy Seals adige meaning if you have two things and one breaks you always have one left but if you have one and it breaks, you have none

“I was in the water and my googles broke. Then I couldn’t stay down any more”

“Dude, two is one and one is none. What were you thinking?”

warm Irish vegetarian salad

A bowl of hot chips

Hey waiter can you bring me a bowl of warm Irish vegetarian salad?

the poor man always buys twice

When someone is a tight-arse with money and they sacrifice quality for a cheap dollar price. The item usually breaks or doesn’t work well and they have to buy again what they should have bought the first time

“I thought I got the bargain of all time but it was just crap.”
“Mate. The poor man always buys twice!”