Pownall

A species of teenager who have fathers that have vans full of chocolate. (Contary to popular belief their fathers are not dirty paedophiles who like to rape 5 year old girls.)

There are 2 varieties of Pownall, both very different from the other:

The DTW Pownall - usually tall and geeky with long legs. Commonly found in possession of small children watching Toy Story while engaging in sexual activities with blackberries. Despite the lack of knowledge when it comes to the clitoris, it has been revealed that this particular variety of Pownall enjoy masturbation and pleasuring themselves. This is the more approachable of the 2 Pownall varieties as it can hold a decent conversation. Beware though, do not be too friendly towards a DTW Pownall as it can result in stalking and occasional humiliation. When befriended, the DTW Pownall will allow you to keep it as a pet*, making a very good alarm clock.

The Jack Pownall - normally found to be more aesthetically pleasing than the DTW Pownall, however this come at a price. It has been revealed that the Jack Pownall's brain's is 99.846532% mush, making them only capable of doing sport and occassionally talking shit.

Overall, Pownalls are a very diverse species. It is recommended that people avoid the Jack variety at all costs, whereas the DTW Pownall can be approached with care.

*if kept as a pet must be fed ham sandwiches, oranges and chewits twice daily.

Have you seen that Jack Pownall? It's talking shit again.

The way you hold that blackberry is very DTW Pownall-esque.

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