Commitment

Opening a bag of chips when you’re home alone

Me: *just got home. Sees bag of chips on counter . Checks if anyone are home.*
God: This is your chance.
Me: This is a commitment.

Markus

Markus is on of the Most retarded people You’ll ever meet. He can’t handle spicy noodles and he probably has some sort of condition (most likely CP or Aids). He smells like a homeless donkey and ass wipe.

«Hey dude is that guy doing meth on the Street Markus?»

«Yeah, ofc it is. Lol.»