butt fluid

The gelatinous, viscous, amalgamation of diarrhea and usually seminal fluid that drips from the anal orifice down to the catholic schoolgirl knee-socks after a romping good round of buttsex.

Teacher: What is 3+3?

Student 1: I smell poop.

Student 2: Hey Jill, whats that stain on your socks??

Jill: O no i forgot my butt plug. The butt fluid is a-flowin'.

Teacher: Well, go confess.

Jill: Why? It's the priest's fault for ramming it in too hard.

ear-buttons

1. The skinny cartilaginous wings lining the anterior edge of the external auditory canal. Also called the tragus.

2. The magical buttons that when pushed, hide unwanted garbage-noise from entering the skull.

Do you always stick your fingers in your ear-holes when you hear Counting Crows?

No, I just push my ear-buttons.

What are those?

The little wings outside your ear; you push them onto your ear so you don't get your fingers gross with earwax.

Sounds complicating. I think I'll just stick with wax-fingers.

Counting Crows

1. Contrary to popular belief, the Counting Crows are actually several middle-aged buttholes that have brainwashed most radio stations and youth into believing they make music. Actually, they make extremely expensive garbage-noise which is painful to hear in much the same way a fever hallucination is to experience.

2. An activity a person in a wheatfield might do.

hey, its long december! i love counting crows!

what? wait... really?

what do you mean? they're a really good band.

i hope your kids die of rabies.

Fig Newtons

The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.

-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?

-Ya mom! What's there to eat?

-Fig Newtons

-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.