PJ pantsed

Having your sexual overtures preemptively deterred by your partner wearing a pair of ratty old (usually flannel) pajama bottoms to bed. Not to be confused with getting pantsed, it is the opposite of peacocking. Whereas peacocking is defined as dressing for attention, just as peacocks use their feathers to attract a mate, PJ pantsing is a conscious effort to dress down, thereby sending a clear signal to your prospective mate that there will be no nookie tonight.

I thought she was in the mood after a couple glasses of wine, but when we got to the bedroom she PJ pantsed me, rendering me flacid in no time.

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Blue Balls Back Rub

An extended, often elaborate array of male-on-female foreplay that fails to end in copulation. The common opening move is for the man to offer the woman a back rub, followed by a series of maneuvers that may or may not include a leg massage, teasing of the upper ass around the pantyline, a slight grazing of the sideboob, and as a last resort some aggressively handsy spooning. Crippling, fetal-position blue balls often results, remedied only by vigorous, albeit lonely and pathetic masturbation.

"You get some from the old lady last night?"

"Nope. Nothing but a blue balls back rub."

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Baltimore shuffle

The counter-intuitive tendency of a Baltimore pedestrian to slow down in the middle of a street before oncoming traffic, practically daring you to hit him. The shuffle is exacerbated by the fact that Baltimore residents generally ignore crosswalks, preferring to cross busy streets at random intervals.

I about hit that guy in the middle of the street who was doing the Baltimore shuffle.

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hypercrite

A person whose actions are so counter to his words that he's gone beyond being just a hypocrite. This behavior has been exhibited in the wild most acutely by conservative Caucasian Homo sapiens.

A longtime advocate of traditional marriage and family values, the congressman was outed as a hypercrite after texting an explicit video to his contacts list of himself having sex with someone who was neither his wife nor of the opposite gender.

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