Mercury retrograde

Mercury retrograde is the act of taking a shit whilst mooning one or more human beings. Your day can typically being going well, according to your horoscope, until you are forced into witnessing Mercury retrograde. Performing Mercury retrograde will often speed the astrological cycle forward for the individual performing the Mercury retrograde, bringing about happy and fruitful times to come.

As the sun sank down over the pier, the children fishing gazed in horror as the lard-ass on his flat bottom boat sent the lakeshore into Mercury retrograde.

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