Plain City

A small town located West of Columbus, right beside Hilliard and Dublin. It's known for the homestyle Amish cooking of the Der Dutchman. Only the residents know what really goes on in the kitchen though... And it's not Amish cooking. Jonathan Alder, the local high school, isn't known for much except a great football team and girls basketball (aka Lauren Prochaska). The town was recently upgraded with the addition of a bypass that added another stoplight; bringing the total to two and a half. Plain City is full of townies, hicks, and farmers, and country songs describe life. "Ticks" by Brad Paisley? Yessir, my girl and I have done that. "Hicktown" by Jason Aldean? Yup, that's where I'm from. Yes, people have tried painting the water tower.

If you're from Plain City, no one will know where it is, so don't bother trying to explain.

1. "Plain City? Oh, I know where that is! Der Dutchman, right?"

2. "Wait, you mean your town used to only have one stop light?"

3. "You have a sweet football team."

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lazy salamander

A sexual position in which the female lays face down close to a body of water while the man mounts from above and wiggles his legs in the water violently.

"I gave Sally a lazy salamander last night... my toes got pruney."

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