Jamey Aebersold

Jamey Aebersold, named after the renowned jazz performer and publisher, can refer to any of the following:
1. When a guy, during sex, counts off his orgasm—“one, two, one two three four”
2. The use of jazz progressions in one’s moans while having sex. In most cases the moans vamp on a II-V progression and resolve to I during the orgasm. The tonal quality of the progression reflects the enjoyment of the sex. For example, amazing sex may result in a typical IIm7—V7—I Maj6 while unsatisfactory sex or sex with fat people and/or animals may result in a IIm7—V7—I+11. Very passionate sex may even result in a IIm7b5—V7+9—Im Maj7 progression.
3. Kicking major Louisville ass in basketball
4. Chlamydia
5. One who has a license as a professional smoker

1. “I began to Jamey Aebersold this chick after me and Jamey raided the Louisville morgue for healthy lungs to fill with dirt and place in glass display cases, but I only got up to three because David Baker walked in. And right in the middle of my favorite song from Jamey Aebersold’s Volume One play along CD!”
2. “Last night I was having sex and began to Jamey Aebersold. I even moaned a IIm7b5—V7b9 progression! Unfortunately my resolution to Im turned into a diminished chord when the hamster exploded.”
3. “Did you see that old white man score 251 free throws in a row while playing jazz banjo and scat singing blindfolded? He was such a Jamey Aebersold.”
4. “I caught Jamey Aebersold at band camp. The sex was amazing though—I resolved to a major 7 chord!”
5. “I knew Bobby was a real Jamey Aebersold when he used his saxophone as a bowl.”

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