sex with a banana

When a girl is a virgin and scared about her first time then usually she'll steal a condom from her parents room and slip it onto a nice unripe banana. She'll spread her legs wide and force it deep inside, to break her hymen and test if a penis will actually fit. If it does fit then she'll pump it in and out for about 15 minutes even if it hurts. If it doesn't fit she'll smear it with vaseline and jam it in harder until it works.

Sometimes done by pathetic older women with no boyfriend/husband

"Oh my god, I'm so scared that he'll know I'm a virgin... Oh well I'll break my hymen and have sex with a banana!"

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