passive-directive

To present a needed task, job, or duty as a choice when it is actually a command. Either due to the audacity of the assignment, the lack of communication skills of the assignor, or both.

My boss is so passive-directive. He's always like, "Umm yeeah, I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday, ummkay?"

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pimp parking

To park your car in the best spot in the lot, usually by the building's entrance.

Bob and Fred are students at a university.
Fred: Hey I missed the first 10 minutes of lecture today. The lots were filled. You?
Bob: Nah I was pimp parking this morning.

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freudian click

Attractive cousin of the freudian slip. When someone subconsciously clicks a hyperlink on the internet they normally wouldn't, mostly due to that link's risque content and/or the user's pure intentions.

While searching for some hot articles on asian private healthcare, Craig made a freudian click onto a hot asian porn site.

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Canada

The only nation in North America (except for the oppressively-communist Cuba) where pets get better health-care than people do. Since "universal" health-care costs nothing, you get what you pay for.

A new report released today by the Canadian Institute for Health Information (CIHI) shows Canada had 151 MRI scanners at the beginning of 2004, more than four times the number it had a decade ago (40). And that's sad.

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ghetto hybrid

When a cash-strapped driver of a gas guzzler changes their driving habits to approach and/or rival the fuel efficiency of a legitamate hybrid vehicle like the Prius. Such behavior modification may include shutting off the vehicle at train crossings and long lights to reduce idle-times. More aggressive behavior modification may involve putting the vehicle into neutral--or even shutting off the engine altogether--when driving down a hill. Furthermore, if the driver is so inclined, it is possible to compare the marginal increase in engine RPM's and simply derive a piece-wise nonlinear regression function that can accurately pinpoint the ideal cruise speed/s for the vehicle.

Clem and Pat are waiting for Clark to arrive at the party.

Clem: Where's Clark? He left his place a half-hour ago and he only lives 20 minutes away.
Pat: He's driving the ghetto hybrid.
Clem: What?!
Pat: Look, the speed limit might be 70, but he prefers to drive at 51 since it adds like 5 miles to the gallon.
Clem: OMG

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dick tickler

Slang for a person's fingers.

Tom and Ben work in an industrial setting.
Ben: Which rivets need to be removed?
Tom: Run your dick ticklers along the surface... the ones that aren't flush need to be done again.

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