When you only have a couple of minutes spare, but really need to drop a fat log, you must perform what is commonly know as a speed poo. You squeeze the poo out so hard that it leaves your body at the speed of light and you wipe your arse so quick that you get friction burn.
Fred: Iâm just gonna go do a poo
Stan: But the show starts in a few minutes
Fred: Yeah I know, Iâm gonna do a speed poo