Protagonitis

An unfortunate condition where a person in real life has characteristics not unlike the ones a protagonist in a wish-fulfillment story would have. The symptoms of someone with Protagonitis are as follows: has a dark traumatic past, has a secret power that nobody knows about, is given some special power or talent, has a ridiculous amount of luck, and is extremely attractive to many members of the opposite sex for no apparent reason.

"If anyone you know has Protagonitis, please seek help in the form of a doctor or an editor."