Shatner

A niche sexual fetish combining food fetishes with foot fetishes. To perform a Shatner you slather your lover’s toes in Mayo, wrap their feet in sandwich fixins (usually bologna and American cheese), then gorge yourself on the delectable sweet feet meat treat you have created. It is unclear why this act is called a Shatner.

Babe, be here at 10pm and bring sandwich fixins. Imma Shatner you all night long.

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RMF

Acronym for Resting Mischief Face. It’s like RBF, but the person with RMF has the unintentional countenance of one who is perpetually plotting Shenanigans. The RMF will typically intensify when the bearer is questioned as to the nature of the Shenanigans.

Much like those who possess the more widely known RBF, those with RMF are known to protest “It’s just my face!” Also, similar to the RBF, quite often, it’s not just their face.

The wry smirk was evident from across the room. “What are you up to over there? I can see it plainly written across your face- you’re definitely up to something.”
“No! I swear! It’s this damn RMF, I’m not scheming at all!”

Blackstone

When someone saves a text message so that the information can be used at a later date; typically for purposes of revenge or humiliation of the sending party.

Blackstone hearkens back to the Rosetta Stone, the well-known dark stone slab which preserved ancient scripts and forgotten languages for thousands of years .

“OMG did you really text that?”
“Yeah, I’m sure she’s going to Blackstone this one. Screenshot and probably sent to her sisters and BFF. I’ll never hear the end of it. SMH.”
“Fucking Blackstone! So much better to say it in person. If it isn’t documented, it didn’t happen.”

Shatnerette

Any person who enjoys a good Shatner (sweet feet meat treat). Shatnerette is not gender specific, and refers to both the person performing the Shatner and the person receiving the Shatner.

I sure hope this new girl is a Shatnerette. I’m all stocked up on sandwich fixins and ready to slather those toes in mayo.

The Destroyer

Some say he is a gift from God, and are honored to be in his inimitable presence. Others feel that he raises the sexual bar impossibly high, leaving any subsequent lover to settle for a dismal second place. The Destroyer is a man who takes the Shatner and levels up. He will ensure that only the finest quality sandwich fixins are used, replaces the classic mayo with miracle whip, and invites every Shatnerette in a 50 mile radius to participate in the festivities. If The Destroyer is involved the Shatner becomes a bologna and cheese pedal train of ecstasy.

I thought he was just going to Shatner me, little did I know I had met The Destroyer. There was so much miracle whip and so many feet, I’ve never experienced such orgasmic joy. Nothing will be the same after this. I guess that’s why they call him The Destroyer.

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