Mensa Stewie

The ultimate insult for the worst of humanity. When “asshole” or “fucktard” or “ultimate loser” or any other such description is completely insufficient. For this situation, Mensa Stewie is a special term that combines the stereotype of the asshole Mensan (a belittling self-aggrandizing humorless dullard douchebag who is about 1/1000 as smart as he/she pretends) with cartoon legend Stewie (a precocious sociopathic sort who feigns adulthood but has the emotional maturity, judgment, and communication skills of a developmentally challenged toddler).

Normal person: Did you hear that a porn star has been nominated for a Nobel Piece Prize?

Mensa Stewie: Source? That’s false. No porn star will ever be nominated.

Normal person: Look. It’s Mensa Stewie. Casting agnorant dullness from the helm of the douche canoe.

Mensa Stewie: That proves you have no source.

Normal person: Go away—you’re always unwelcome. Quit lashing out in anger because you are far too small to self-fellate and your Mom made the mistake of not swallowing.

Riser

In corporate America, an employee who is both admired and scorned because he or she has risen to a level of high rank and pay whilst doing little to nothing because of preternatural luck and an innate ability to hide in plain sight.

That Dave is such a riser; look at him pretend to work at his computer even though we all know he is reading song lyrics.

1👍 1👎

Robert

Robert. A successor to historic robber barons, a Robert in modern corporate America is an employee of high position who publicly and gleefully exposes the shortcomings of other employees — in order to control the weak and perversely amuse him/her self and others — whilst paying little heed to ruffled feathers, mangled psyches, or damaged careers.

Example: That Doctor Stowe is such a Robert. At a meeting today, the Doctor used a four page written list (that he compiled over the course of six years) to portray Carl and Scottie as nitwits.

Stowe

A Stowe in corporate America is an employee of high position who stowes away information on the shortcomings and failures of other employees. The Stowe then publicly exposes that information — in order to control the weak and perversely amuse him/her self and others — whilst paying little heed to ruffled feathers, mangled psyches, or damaged careers.

Robert is such a Stowe. At a meeting today, he used a four page written list (that he compiled over the course of six years) to portray Carl and Scottie as nitwits, even going so far as to call them the soulless sasquatches of the skullfucked.