Phantom Asshole

The overweight closet muncher in the family
who typically raids the refrigerator and pantry of all the good food late at night, in top secrecy. They are best
known for not leaving a trace of thier presence
and will almost always return an empty
box to the shelf instead of putting it in the trash.

Hey Chris, who ate all the fried
chicken, I don't know Jim. Must have been the phantom asshole.