Zany

A made up word for mixed emotions, usually unusual. Includes emotions like: excitement, relaxation, careless, goofy, and ecstatic. May feel suicidal, homicidal, or genocidal. Also may feel insane or crazy.

"I'm feeling zany right now, kinda wanna rip my organs out."

Suicide

The act of killing/ending the life of one's self.

Example 1: "I'm feeling suicidal."
Example 2: "I heard she committed suicide, that's so sad."
Example 3: "I attempted suicide once, and almost died."