Wheel of Regret

(Noun) The wheel on a shopping cart that is wobbly, squeaky (or otherwise noisy), off the ground (rendering it useless), or stuck.

This leads the individual pushing the cart to deeply regret choosing the cart, being at the store, and ultimately life itself.

News Story:
A local man was killed today when he was struck while trying to push a shopping cart across a busy intersection. Witnesses say the man inexplicably tried to guide the cart into the path of a bus, but was killed when his shoe lace became entangled in the cart's wheel, trapping him in the middle of the street.
A review of the cart's maintenance log suggests it may have possessed a squeaky wheel of regret.

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Facebook That Shit

or(FBTS)

Phrase - usually uttered after a group, embarassing, or incredible photo is taken, and/or a memorable quote is spoken.

Prpositioning a friend to place something on their facebook profile to share with yourself or your friends.

"Oh man, did you just see Tom face-plant on the sidewalk?"
"Haha. Jimmy you've got to Facebook that shit"

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back splash

Noun - the "spray" resulting from the use of a urinal, usually resulting in pee speckled pants/shorts and hands.

Typical causes - standing too close, excessive stream strength.

Tom: Hey man, What happened to your pants? Get caught in a sudden crotch downpour?

Jimmy: Ha-ha. No, stupid back splash from the urinal...

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Hobo Hold

(Noun)- The act of placing a caller on hold by poorly covering the phone's receiver or simply setting the handset on your desk, usually followed by yelling the name of the caller across the room.

Hobo Hold often results in the caller hearing something insulting/offensive said about them by the individual they are trying to reach.

Especially prevalent in sketchy offices and restaurants.

Tom: "Hey did you get ahold of Tony?"

Bob: "No. When I called, his secretary put me on Hobo Hold and I could hear him yelling in the background before she told me he wasn't available."

Tom: "What an dick move"

Mick Jaggering

The act of fathering or claiming to have fathered numerous children with many estranged women. (especially prevalent with musicians)

Named for the infamous Mick Jagger

- Hey man have you seen Billy latey?
- No. I heard he's been Mick Jaggering with a bunch of groupies

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cubicall

(Noun) The act of calling a coworker in a neighboring cubicle, instead of walking three feet to speak to them in person.

Tim: (as Mike passes by) Hey Mike, I need to talk to you about these reports.

Mike: Alright give me a second to get back to my desk and I'll give you a cubicall

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Randolph Scott

(Noun/verb)
A person (or memory of a person) who is so famous in your organization or community, his/her name envokes a chorus of angels. Mention of his/her name brings men to remove thier hats and any request attached to his/her name is completed immediately. (Often no one really understands or can give a clear answer on why the remembered person is so great)

Originates from the film blazing saddles

Crowd: That's the worst idea ever, we'll never go along with it!

Mayor: You'd do it for Clay Walker!

Crowd: (angels singing, men remove hats) Clay Walker! We'll do it!

Tom (in the crowd): Dangit, anytime the mayor wants something he Randolph Scott's us into going along with it.

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