Romancing the Stone

Having sex (regular or receiving oral) while passing a kidney stone in hopes that it will pass when you ejaculate.

Phil: How goes the renal calculi this morning, bro?

Doug: I may have passed that fucker. I was romancing the stone last night with that whore Nicole, and when I busted a nut, it was all bloody and gooey. Probably lodged like a stalagtite up there against her uterus.

Phil: I found my car keys up there once....

64👍 66👎

GOE

Abbreviation for a Gathering of Eagles, a right-wing extremist group who thinks that sending off US Military personnel to overseas conflicts to be killed wholesale and lugged home in body bags (frequently burned to a crisp or dismembered) or alive but heinously physically disfigured or maimed or even left emotionally paralyzed by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is the best way to support them. This group regularly engages in counter-protests at pro-peace gatherings. Their tactics involve using intimidation, threats, hate-speech, videotaping members of anti-war organizations, and attempting to instigate a violent response through various means of confrontation. GOE members have gone so far as to physically assault grieving members of service members' families who have spoken out against the various wars that the US Government has gotten the nation into. This reprehensible group is opposed by several noble organizations that include Veterans for Peace and the Winter Soldiers. The GOE frequently suggests as "vast liberal conspiracy" involving the media opposes their efforts and calls anyone who opposes their efforts as "moonbats," whatever that is.

Carolyn Swartout is an infamous member of the despicable and often hateful organization known as a Gathering of Eagles (GOE). She has been witness attempting to provoke a violent response at peaceful anti-war gatherings sometimes by using her minor son to instigate a confrontation. She is a coward.

58👍 40👎

Dehli Belly

(n.) Gastro-intestinal distress associated with consuming questionable foodstuffs typically available from (usually illegal) immigrant street vendors. Diahrrea (commonly of the explosive kind)and cramping are associated with this unfortunate malady.

Vince missed work after having a bad batch of Tandoori take-out.Sounds like a case of Dehli Belly. He's had the explosive shits all morning.

65👍 18👎

twat junk

A cheesy, foul-smelling paste produced by a chronically unwashed vagina. Frequently, it will collect around the vulva where it waits to ambush the unsuspecting when panties are removed in anticipation of (usually oral)intercourse. Twat junk is commonly associated with various infections of the cunt and invariably forms pasty little pellets that may adhere to the labia or collect in the undergarments.

I hope Neil used a gasmask when he went down on Darlene. That girl's twat junk is just plain noxious!

78👍 15👎

Sneak peek at Jesus

To have a near-death experience.

Neil: "Wow, Vince, we all thought you were a goner. I never saw somebody survive being sexually molested by a polar bear!"

Vince: "Dude, I got a sneak peek at Jesus."

76👍 20👎

turkish bread

(n.) A condition afflicting an unhygenic vagina which may or may not be malodorous and produces little crusty pellets that may adhere to the vulva or collect in the panties. Turkish bread may be a result of any of several infections commonly associated with a woman's pussy or simply the result of not washing one's stanky snatch. Reportedly, turkish bread has a cheese-like flavor and is viewed as a delicacy to be spread on Triscuits or Ritz in some circles.

Nichole's turkish bread finally got to me after after all these years. Night after night of gagging on that crust just got to me; I had to leave.

68👍 17👎

E.L.D.

(n.) Abbreviation for "Explosive Liquid Diarrhea," a very unpleasant gastro-intestinal condition, indeed.

"Mom, I gotta stay home from school today. I have E.L.D. and didn't quite make it to the can in time."

51👍 10👎