Ford KA

An ill advised experiment to construct an automobile from the following items;
1. Upturned tin bathtub.
2. Low-grade plastic novelty items from a charity shop.
3. A moldy turd.
4. A fresh turd.
5. The contents of yesterdays 'jam-rag' bin.
6. A used Johnny.
7. Discarded unwashed clothing reclaimed from the bins behind a well 'stocked' hospice.
8. Another turd.

The Ford KA stood out from the crowd because of its particularly charming ability to induce pointing, laughing, projectile vomiting & dry minges.

Person 1: "Who in the Mary Hinge laid a giant brown 'arse' dreadnought outside my house?!"
Person 2: "Aaah, yeah that'll be me, it's a car, a Ford KA... what'dya think of her?"
Person 1: "Push it into the sea at once, i'll give you a hand, hopefully it'll sink. & let's not talk of your faux pas again. Idiot."

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Golf knickers

A farcical item of clothing, that is aimed primarily at the golfing scene. From the waist they balloon out and abruptly cut back in slightly below the knee, where they finish with what appears to be an elasticated or draw string closier.
Being similar to bloomers but apparently acceptable in public, they are of course in reality an invention brought into being by a social outcast.
Wearing 'golf knickers' in public will not only make you an object of derision & induce projectile vomiting, but will also place you in danger of being pelted with rotten & deservedly odious kebab 'meat'.

Geoff; "What in the name of all that is held sacred on earth is that imbecile wearing?"
Bob; "I believe those are a sort of pantaloon intended for use in public sir, called 'golf knickers', what amuses me most is he obviously made a conscious descision to wear them. Are you going to finish that kebab Geoff, or may I cast it at his moronic face?"

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