Johnstown High School

A wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Johnstown High School is littered with staff that peaked in high school themselves and gossip more recklessly than students, blatant favoritism toward sports kids while ignoring high-achievers in their educational and art departments, a scapegoating administration that runs cover for a hypocrite who smiles nice but has at least one major skeleton in his closet (and throws subordinates that make his leadership look even mildly bad under the bus in the name of optics, bursting into tears and wetting his pants at the idea of being sued despite making 6 figures), authoritarians who treat bullies and victims as morally equivalent because Godforbid we seek justice for evil 4000 years after the Code of Hammurabi, baffling hiring decisions, at least 1 male teacher who will slide into yo Instagram DMs the moment you graduate (but only if you’re a girl), at least 2 female teachers that don’t know how to handle stress and will lash out if you look at them the wrong way, a steady rate of teen pregnancy, Department of Education brainwashing that sincerely insists xe/xir are usable gender pronouns, Bernie Madoff levels of financial planning, bathrooms that make you yearn for Taco Bell stalls, 12 year old eighth graders dating 17 year old seniors, and truly shocking interior design that makes your local Chuck E. Cheese look like Notre Dame.

Be sure not to swim in the pool, as you may catch a venereal disease if you get too close to the liner.

"Why don't you read?"
"I can't read, I went to Johnstown High School."