David

David is a name given only to those with an appendage greater than 30cm. What he lacks in his ability to find a girlfriend, he makes up for in his tinder successes. You will never find a David dressed in an outfit worth under $1000 at any given moment. On a hot day, he will merely resort to strapping that amount of money to his physical self. Although much can be said about his passion for superheroes, he fell short of claiming this illustrious title by rejecting a plethora of performance enhancing injections by his once favourite nrl club. If you are a female, unfortunately David will resort to staring at you during church services instead of asking your parents for your hand in marriage.

Christ almighty look at the size of David's Schlong

Can you believe David is still single? It's as if he's only into 17 year Olds with boyfriends.