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THE CHICKENâ¦â¦â¦â¦..OF DEATH
El Gallo Del Muerte is an ancient being not unlike the lovecraftian eldritch horrors. He has a few powers that include immunity to death, instant insanity eyes, and fire balls. One glance from him will instantly disintegrate you to but a pile of dust. Sometimes however, he will completely turn you inside out. This is not any morenor less effective than disintegration but it does provide some variety for El Gallo Del Muerte. He can also set your head on fire. Despite this immense power, he has one weaknessâ¦
Waffles.
If given a freshly cooked waffle (he will only except homemade and eggo waffles) he will teleport away with his loot. In his place will he left an acod llama. Its quite simplistic, they spit acid.
El Gallo Del Muerte is coming. RUN AWAY
The mild exchange of information between two or more people. The contents of the information is entirely comprised of facts all parties were already aware of. If there is an exchange of opinion it must be a shared opinion.
Small talk is about weather, the haircut you obviously got, and foreign politics
Sock gnomes are an ancient folk who hail from Germany. They sneak into peopleâs houses and steal their socks. Only the left ones though. The purpose of this is to wear them as hats. Its very necessary to their survival. Other common names for them are as follows; hat people, helmet folk, hut luete, and sockenzwerg. They refer to themselves as hat people because socks donât exist to them. The big people are the crazy stupid giants. When the big peole come, the sock gnomes riot. Their weapon of choice is the pitchfork which they ise to stab people right in between the leg bone and the knee cap. This will bring their enemies to their knees, but not for long because of the excruciating pain. Then they fall on their faces and the sock gnomes tie them down with little pieces of string. The sock gnomes are also brilliant engineers. They actually invented the leg warmer, the back massager, cheez itz, tom holland, and the tenor saxaphone. In sock gnome legend, there is a messaih who will come wearing 100% wool socks on their head that are also waterproof. This person is destined to be ruler of all sock gnomes. Sock gnomes to this day hold a bitter grudge against the big people because of the rednpointy hatted stereotype they have created.
Sock gnomes commonly enjoy chartreuse colored hats.
Bob is a particullarly cannibalistic lobster. He enjoys long walks on the beach and butter. Should not be associated with any other marine animals with the name Bob.
Bob ate Jerry last night.
A fast paced sport where competitors must have the overall dexterity needed for pressing pants and mental and physical constitution necessary for extreme locations. Some location suggestions are large volcanos, the amazon rainforest, and the mariana trench. Clothing suggestions include Calvin Klein shirts, ties with beagles on them, and the super tight khakis you only get on for christmas dinner and other family gatherings.
Extreme Ironing should be an olympic event
They are the most sinister birds. You know loose threads on you favorite t shirt? Purple kiwis. You know all the random and probably unnessesary dials in micrwaves, dishwashers, washing machines, ovens, and other assorted appliances? Purple kiwis. You know when plastic bottles seem really hard to open because your hand keeps slipping? Purple kiwis grease them up. You know when the toilet seat is unreasonably cold? Purple kiwis. You know when the tiolet seat is unnervingly warm? Purple kiwis. You know when the drawstrings to your sweatshirt get pulled too much on one end and it gets stuck inside the hood? Purple kiwis. You know those little plastic thingies that are used to attach tags to shirts that you should probably cut with scissors but your too lazy and when you try to pull it you just rip the tag off and the plastic thingy is still there and even though you could get scissors you decide to keep trying to pull it off but you cant because its too small and when you give up and just wear it, it is really itchy and you finally go and get scissors but you cant find any? Purple kiwis. You know autocorrect? You know that feeling when you have an itch but you cant find the exact place and you end up looking like a leper with all of your scratching? Purple kiwis. You know when bags of chips have a total of two and a half chips in them? Purpe kiwis. They may look cute when you see them, watch out. They are malicious creatures who crave suffering. They hail from Old Zealand.
Purple kiwis ate my sandwich but left all the crust.
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The slower, less entusiastic, and overall pessimistic version of the antelope.
Cantelopes can run at three and a quarter yards per hour