catcher's mitt

An affliction of hand cramps resulting from spending long periods of time on all fours as the recipient of anal sex (or vaginal sex doggie style). Sometimes it involves splayed or swollen fingers that resemble a catcher's mitt. The term derives partly from catcher, meaning a bottom or recipient of anal sex.

A: How was your date last night?

B: Pretty good. We went all the way. But I was on all fours for so long and never really found a comfortable position for my hands, so I'm gonna have catcher's mitt all day today. Ouch. Probably won't be able to finish stitching that sampler till tomorrow. Oh, and my ass hurts too.

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MILP

Usually used in the plural form, MILPs. This stands for Moms I'd Like to Punch, on analogy with the widely use MILF (Mom I'd Like to Fuck). Specifically, MILPs are vacuous or insipid young stay-at-home moms that bore and irritate the more educated or sophisticated moms who are reduced to socializing with them for the children's sake.

I'd rather be at home reading Günter Grass, but there's no school today, so I had to take Finn and Olivia to the park and listen to a bunch of MILPs talk about soap operas and peanut allergies.

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