Random
Source Code
Random
1) A person afflicted with the inhumane, all-consuming urge to violently take the anal virginity of one's father
2) A hypothesised, but currently not documented, individual whom finds themselves sexually attracted to Saad
Note: There has been no scientific, historical or even anecdotal evidence that a true Saadosexual exists. Being attracted to Saad would be a natural phenomenon, an unresearched anomaly, so please contact my team if you discover such a specimen.
CJ: Brah, we need to find Saad a fuckin Saadosexual woman
Saad: What is a woman?
CJ: I don't know either
Saad: CJ stfu or I'll r*** your father
CJ: ...
Everyone else in the vicinity: ...
When bogans wake up, they always pick the dry and crusty bogies from their nose and have it as a breakfast snack, henceforth being a Bogan Breakfast.
Alec: "Dom its 4pm have you had lunch?"
Dom (a bogan): "Nah mate I've had a solid bogan breakfast"
Alec: "the fuck is a bogan breakfast..."
Dom: "well basically yeah, I got the fattest crustiest crispiest bogie-"
Alec: "stfu and get in the bin where you belong, bogan"
The entirely heterosexual act of copulating with other males in order to increase one's 'body count'. This has been popularised lately due to the 'modern woman' having an intrinsic repulsion to virginic males.
(Note: In the contemporary dating scene, a body count below 17 is widely considered to be 'sub-incel numbers' and is described by many as a form of C&B torture.)
There are many sexual benefits to padding. These include:
Confidence boost, penis confidence boost, better posture, better thrusting technique and power, ashwaganda, and on-demand BJs.
Several peer-reviewed papers have come forth with conclusive evidence that performing fellatio on a male penis corresponds with improved cunnilingus proficiency by up to 15%. World renowned pussyologist Dr Pussymandias famously stated:
"Yo, if yuh OPE/H oral penile ejaculations per hour index high, dat mean seh yuh know how fi please di Female Sexual Organs real good. Di two a dem have a strong link, yuh see me?" (note: Dr Pussymandias has recently had his academic and professional wrestling titles stripped for LARPing as a Jamaican man.)
Ani: "Have you guys seen Alvin? I haven't seen him lately."
Niraj: "Nah mayne, I ain't even seen my own ass ASSHOLE since last year. An I ain't even gay!"
Ani: "Erm... I'm going to ignore that. Can you answer my question?"
Niraj: "Aint he yo boyfriend? Shiiiiet, I may have hit dat plump ass ass myself..."
Ani: "The last thing I heard him mutter under his breath was something to do with padding."
Niraj: "Bredda... bredda..."
Ani: "I looked it up on Urban Dictionary and found something about sticking tampons to walls... I am at my wits end."
Niraj: "Bredda the only thing getting Urbanly Dicked is your mans. He's getting DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKED."
Ani: "Erm... isn't that gay?"
Niraj: "Actually no, that is a misconception. He is merely painstakingly investing in his sexual marketplace value in order to be half the man you always wanted him to be."
Ani: "That sounds quite ga-"
Niraj: "Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING."
Ani: *sucks own pussy*
Niraj: *goes bollocks-on-the-wall insane*
Alvin: "I am having sex with men in order to increase my body count :) this is called padding."
The End
9👍 1👎