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Terminal Friendship

The act of suddenly caring about someone or having a sudden desperate need to be a positive part of someone’s last bit of life when they suddenly become stricken with a terminal illness, knowing full well that before becoming sick that there really was no meaningful friendship in the years leading up to the terminal diagnosis.

This can be applied to anyone you may have been close with in the past, like a family member or former friend that you’ve rarely seen or communicated with in the last many years due a falling out or because they were a well known asshole that you have supported financially.

The existence of this type of friendship is purely self-motivating for the person seeking a closer relationship with the terminally ill. Money and other assets typically surround the motivation. Guilt can also be another reason to seek this friendship, but still self-motivating nontheless.

Unfortunately, this term most often can be applied to 40yr old bitch daughters with shitty credit that have been punching meal tickets off of their parents, squatting rent free in their rental properties, driving their cars, seeking a never ending bailout, and spent the last 39 yrs of their meaningless lives being a terror to everyone in their immediate family construct; only to have a sudden change of heart now that the person who has been sustaining them financially is at their weakest point.

1.) Hey sis, if you aren’t here for just a terminal friendship, then why did you put our involet, bed ridden mother, into a wheel chair, take her downtown and transfer her car title into your name without telling anyone?

2.) We havent seen Aunty around for the last 20-30 yrs, and mom always talked about how she never had a really tight relationship with her, but now they’re enjoying a terminal relationship so Aunty doesn’t have to live with guilt when mom is gone.

by Bogdaddywags February 12, 2019