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Instant Grassification

The feeling one gets the day that eight very tall pallets of SOD are so perfectly installed all around your yard that you now have a gorgeous lawn whereas the day before you had basically a pile of dirt.

Yesterday... a dust bowl. Today a luscious fairway of a lawn... Ahhhh.... the sweet sweet smell of INSTANT GRASSIFICATION......

by Bonemanrides December 29, 2017


shartuitous moment

When you're standing at the toilet whizzing away and proceed to crack out what you THINK... is a fart but unfortunately is not gaseous in nature. Still... you're in a good position to just turn around, drop trou and proceed to salvage your shorts as you are conveniently right there in front of the toilet.

"Dude... it was a most Shartuitous Moment... I was actually IN the can when I had an unanticipated shart attack....."

by Bonemanrides November 14, 2015


Sleep Brappnea

An onomotopeoia.

When one farts with such volume whilst asleep it actually disrupts the sleep cycle. Particularly dangerous if the nature of the emanation is so noxious it causes the temporary cessation of breathing.

Dude, I am so roasted.... Damn Sleep Brappnea kept waking me up and WHEW... it was gnarly.... Hardly slept at all!!!!!

by Bonemanrides August 10, 2016


Brake Fart

The sound that emanates from a truck with air brakes at traffic lights just before they start rolling.

Man... I was at the light next to this BEAST of a semi... the light turned green and the BRAKE FART that rolled out from under there nearly blew me into the back seat of the car!!!!

by Bonemanrides October 11, 2016


Hot Ember

When you belch and a chunk comes up and gets stuck in the back of your throat where you can't choke it down or puke it up and it just lays there burning....

Ralph was struck speechless by a hot ember immediately following a buffalo wing - beer belch....

by Bonemanrides September 11, 2008

4👍 1👎


Bungular Flammitosis

Having a protracted or acute case of diarrhea

Man... I can't come out of the house... Can't be too far from the bathroom... damn Bungular Flammitosis almost has me chained to the commode!!!

by Bonemanrides May 2, 2019


Card Fart

When one's Debit / Credit / Whatever card misfires, fails or is abjectly declined for no apparent reason when being used to make a purchase in any PIN pad at a retail establishment.

I had just popped my chip card in the reader and IMMEDIATELY got a CARD DECLINED message. I know there's plenty of funds in there... so... it was just a Card Fart. Re-inserted it and all was fine.

by Bonemanrides March 6, 2019