Boys' Weekend

A weekend spent exclusively with your boys. The consumption of copious amounts of alcohol and/or illegal drugs is absolutely necessary. Video games, cards, pool basketball, and the viewing of sporting events either live or on television is strongly encouraged. Boys' Weekend is the best time you'll have all week, but only if you abide by the Boys' Weekend tenants. They are as follows:

1. No females allowed – unless you're actively trying to bury your penis inside a stranger. No exceptions. It's called Boys' Weekend for a fucking reason. Unlike bachelor parties, phone calls to significant others are permissible...but only as a means of keeping your relationship alive. Keep it brief.
2. Thick skin. No one likes a sensitive bitch.
3. Be willing to flex on your fellow bros. Puff up, get big, and get ironically aggressive as necessary. Be a Louisianimal.
4. Leave no bro behind. You went in as a unit, you leave as a unit. Boys' Weekend doesn't officially end until every bro is accounted for. If you can't triangulate a dude's location, send out a Boys' Weekend APB. Do your part.

Simple Chris: "Hey Jersey Mike, what's going on this weekend?"
Jersey Mike: "Are you kidding me? It's Boys' Weekend. We are getting fucked up!"
Simple Chris: "My goodness."

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