affectionate rob

A beta/effeminate male, who is weak in confrontation situations, and under the thumb at home. Prone to irrational outbursts of rage followed by immediate back tracking when things get fruity.

Steve: you owe me rent
Nick: fuck off I am not paying
Steve: you owe it to me, pay now
Nick: go fuck yourself, if you ask one more time I'm going to put your ass in a sling
Steve: ok, I'll pop round now, and perhaps you can say that again to my face.
Nick: Sorry Steve, didn't mean it, I'll bring it round right away.
Steve: Typical, you've got the chat of Charlie Big Potatoes, but your nothing by an Affectionate Rob.

coffpoo

Drinking coffee before going out for a run or long bike ride to precipitate the emergence of the turtle's head before you leave.

"Steve, are you ready yet, I've been waiting for 10mins to go for a run, if we leave any later I'm going to be late for work."

"Sorry darling, I ate too much curry last night and am in the middle of a coffpoo. Leave now, and I'll catch you up.