Higgins Storm Chasing

A “weather forecasting” page run by that bloke who always tells your mates he’s caught a fish “this bloody big!” but he had to throw it back and didn’t get a photo in time.

Every time there’s potential for a storm, he releases a caps-lock filled tirade about how it’s going to be the end of days and we all need to start choosing who to eat first in our Higgins-endorsed storm bunkers.

Of course, he only knows about the storms because of weather models and charts provided to him by various actual meteorological services, including the BOM. He thinks he’s better than the BOM, and will point to the few times there has been a bad storm and he’s “predicted” it (ignoring the hundreds times he’s forecasted armageddon and there’s been some patchy showers and thunder).

He has an oblivious army of facebook idiots who find the BOM forecasts too confusing with their “percentages” and stuff. The kind of people who need their kids to come over every time they want to print something. Idiot bower-birds attracted to the shiny, colourful Higgins buzzword-vomit forecasts.

Higgins: There's going to be an apocalyptic thuperthell this thunday trust me, hide your wives and prepare your canned food I know this stuff trust me.

Me: what about that last time you predicted an apocalyptic Supercell? Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Dammit Higgins Storm chasing why would you lie to us like this?

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