mancumber

The male genitilia, The penis

Bill Clinton looked down at his favourite intern eating his mancumber

39👍 5👎

cunted

The sort of thing neds say to one another make themselves sound hard

See youse, ure oll gonna get cunted!

Aw man, I wiz cunted at the weekend

50👍 59👎

Take a Blighty

To develop an illness or sustain an inury, possibly self inflicted, which will preclude you from work, but you can still enjoy a rich and varied social life.
Orginates from the 1914-18 War, when reluctant English soldiers would shoot themselves in the foot, to get returned to Blighty, or Great Britan, and invalided out of the Army.
Hangovers can count if passed of as food poisoning

-I intend to get so drunk tonight I will phone in sick tomorrow
-Oh really, are you about to Take a Blighty?

21👍 4👎

10-2-2

Doesnt have to be the ugliest person in the club but it describes the woman (or man) who you ask home at 1.50am, hence "10 -2- 2 (ten minutes to 2 am), when all else has failed on the romance front.

Usually not the sort of person you would go for, but sometimes you strike lucky.

Often the remark "Get your jacket, you've pulled" is made at some point.

"Right lads, this is getting bad. That bird I have been chatting up all night has vanished and I need a jump. I'm off to find a 10-2-2"

"Dont go near the Hypocrocogryph, you'll need a plank across your arse!"

52👍 32👎

Irn-Bru

Irn-Bru. Caffine high, sugar laden fruit flavoured soda very popular in Scotland.
Predominately drank on the West coast and affectionately refered to as "ginger" although this is universally mis-atributed to the bright orange colour (hence irn-bru)

Excellent for a buckfast hangover.
Bad for teeth and hyperactivity

(Scene: Glaswegian with travel pass from HMP Saughton at newsagent inside Waverly Railway Station, Edinburgh)
Aw man, ma hied is gieing me pelters. Do you hae any "ginger"?
"Ginger"? Do you mean Irn-Bru?
Aye
Well, learn to speak english, you soap dodging weegie ned, and I might sell you some.

84👍 10👎

cock teasing

Used by women to gain power and/or humilate male friends and colleagues by the art of making perfectly normal men turn in to delusional idiots when they think the cock teaser actually has been wanting sex with them.

The magnitude of the effect is directly proportional to the time spent being teased and/or your position within the organisation

"That bitch has lead me on for weeks! And I told her the plans for our management restructure!"
"What a cock teasing you've had!"

311👍 146👎

Lets just be friends

The phrase women use when they want to hear your heart actually break.
Often said after weeks of cock teasing.

For maximum effect, normally said when you think you are just about to get in her knickers but she is just about to walk out and get in a taxi with some better looking, fitter, richer guy, infront of all of you work mates.

"Oh I am sorry. I didn't realise you felt that way. You know we could never be anything more than colleagues. Lets just be friends"

*dull snap*

"oh?"

288👍 109👎