10-2-2

Doesnt have to be the ugliest person in the club but it describes the woman (or man) who you ask home at 1.50am, hence "10 -2- 2 (ten minutes to 2 am), when all else has failed on the romance front.

Usually not the sort of person you would go for, but sometimes you strike lucky.

Often the remark "Get your jacket, you've pulled" is made at some point.

"Right lads, this is getting bad. That bird I have been chatting up all night has vanished and I need a jump. I'm off to find a 10-2-2"

"Dont go near the Hypocrocogryph, you'll need a plank across your arse!"

52👍 31👎

Irn-Bru

Irn-Bru. Caffine high, sugar laden fruit flavoured soda very popular in Scotland.
Predominately drank on the West coast and affectionately refered to as "ginger" although this is universally mis-atributed to the bright orange colour (hence irn-bru)

Excellent for a buckfast hangover.
Bad for teeth and hyperactivity

(Scene: Glaswegian with travel pass from HMP Saughton at newsagent inside Waverly Railway Station, Edinburgh)
Aw man, ma hied is gieing me pelters. Do you hae any "ginger"?
"Ginger"? Do you mean Irn-Bru?
Aye
Well, learn to speak english, you soap dodging weegie ned, and I might sell you some.

84👍 10👎

Tour of 'Nam

Ever organisation has somewhere that is a real shitty posting. The hostile staff dont work, the city is a crack infested unemployment hellhole, and there is a union rep which attempts to eat managers alive.
Your boss will tell you it's charcter building; he means it will make or break you and everyone else he has sent there has gone AWOL or got out on a Section 8.

-Did you here about Dave?
-No, what's wrong? Didnt he get promotion and moved to Dunfermline?
-Yeah, he is off sick with stress
-Poor guy, imagine getting a Tour of 'Nam
-Let's phone him up and shout "Hey Handjob, Charly's in the wire!"

22👍 2👎

Take a Blighty

To develop an illness or sustain an inury, possibly self inflicted, which will preclude you from work, but you can still enjoy a rich and varied social life.
Orginates from the 1914-18 War, when reluctant English soldiers would shoot themselves in the foot, to get returned to Blighty, or Great Britan, and invalided out of the Army.
Hangovers can count if passed of as food poisoning

-I intend to get so drunk tonight I will phone in sick tomorrow
-Oh really, are you about to Take a Blighty?

21👍 4👎

hypocrocogryph

The ugliest woman in the nightclub.

Probably wearing a cropped top and a short skirt, neither of which should be seen on anyone with such a high bodymass index as her. Most likely owner of a "cheeky devil flicking you the finger" tattoo in some random place on body but due to the huge expanse of flesh and lack of clothing you are going to see it. You will not be sure that the stretch marks are due to her obesity or worse, she has actually had kids!

Inexplicably, seems to be going out with the thinest, weasel faced, rip off designer clad guy in the nightclub.

Always smoking

"Jesus, will you look at the nick of that hypocrocogryph?!"
"That? Oh my God, Do you have you camera phone handy? I need to show the kids what happens when you eat too many McDs!"
"Look she has a boyfriend!"
"She must of shagged him thin, either that or likes his mancumber too much"

30👍 7👎

mancumber

The male genitilia, The penis

Bill Clinton looked down at his favourite intern eating his mancumber

39👍 5👎

cunted

The sort of thing neds say to one another make themselves sound hard

See youse, ure oll gonna get cunted!

Aw man, I wiz cunted at the weekend

50👍 59👎