Nouveau-Chav

Definition: upwardly mobile chav camouflaged in their urban habitat, most notably upper working class and middle class estates, usually by boycotting bling and taking their offspring to after school activities following homework. Their chav origins are exposed when they are called to defend their human rights, often loudly proclaiming about the 'civil injustice', for something like preserving their children's freedom of expression to be bullies if they so wish it.

How do you make a Nouveau-Chav angry? Call them a chav as they won't know what nouveau means.

Covfewee

A type of coffee blend that happens when you wee in your boss’ filter coffee jug.

Your boss is a tosser who treats you like an imbecile, so you wee in his coffee percolator.

Later that day you ask him, “Would you like a covfewee?”
He thinks: ‘that dumb-ass can’t even quote Trump right. What an imbecile!’
You pour him the coffee with a stupid grin on your face.
You are thinking: ‘Life is good when serving covfewee to dickheads.’

Estate Rate

The Estate Rate is an unspoken but effective measure which can be used to gauge what neighbours actually think of each other.

Here is an example using refuse collection and popularity.

Popular:
Your neighbour notices you have put the wrong refuse bin out for collection so they break into your backyard and swap the bins over.

Unpopular:
Due to an early flight the refuse bin is left out the night before collection day. Returning a week later the empty refuse bin is still on the road outside the house.

Your nouveau-chav neighbour encourages their children to play road football in front of everyone's house but their own.

You can either suggest they record Jeremy Kyle (Jerry Springer) and take the kids to the park or use the more non-confrontational method of watching and participating in a neighbourhood Estate Rate which will not resolve the problem but does lead to a satisfying feeling of alliance.