tard & feathered

Tarring and feathering was a physical punishment, used to enforce formal justice in feudal Europe and informal justice in Europe.
or
A retarded person who parades in a feather boa.

Guilty Man in Feudal Europe: For the love of Christ this tar is hot, keep that roster away from me!
or
Wow, did you see Paris Hilton, she's really tard & feathered!

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