masturbatorium

A location frequently used for one's own masturbation, but also a word-play on the similarly sounding 'master bedroom' or 'master bathroom'. This can be effective jab or pun that the owner of the house jacks it or whacks it alot.

Jack: "...And finally here at the end of the hall, are the bedrooms."

Me: "Oh, and might I assume this one is the masturbatorium?" ::smiling::

Jack: "Wha--Excuse me, what did you say?" ::agitated::

Me: "May I assume this one is the master bedroom?" ::speaking slowly, for clarity::

Jack: "Why, yes it is." ::relieved::

Me: "Well, I can imagine you spend alot of time in there." ::smiling::

38👍 41👎

aquafuck

Insulting term for Aquaman, esp. used by villains or enemies.

Me: "So I was just about to bag the mermaid...and then here comes Aquafuck, riding up on his giant seahorse."

Jack: Oh man, what did you do next?

Me: Bagged the mermaid.

12👍 3👎

jaccubus

Female or male demon similar to succubus but does not engage in sexual relations with their human victim. Instead, the jaccubus visits men in their sleep and masturbates them until full release. This may happen multiple times, leading to physical discomfort, embarassment, and testicular depletion.

Babydoll: You feel like messing around a little before going work this morning, honey?

Me: Sorry babe, can't do it. My penis is so red and sore...my balls ache like a mutha...not to mention I was stuck to both the top and bottom sheets this morning when I woke up. Must have been visited by the jaccubus again last night.

Babydoll: You could have just said no. ::shakes head::

9👍 2👎